Dialectical behavior therapy

DBT skills you can practice when the moment is messy

Last updated 2026-08-25

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a skills-based approach for handling intense emotions, impulsive urges, and hard conversations. Nuri is an iOS practice companion for those skills. You describe what is happening. Nuri names a tool from the four modules and walks the steps. It is educational self-help, not a replacement for a DBT program or a licensed clinician.

What is DBT?

DBT was developed by psychologist Marsha M. Linehan as a treatment that holds two ideas at once: you can accept yourself as you are, and you can still change the behaviors that are wrecking your life. The skills training portion is organized into four modules that many outpatient groups still teach from Linehan’s skills training materials. Those modules are mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

People learn DBT skills for many reasons. The research began with chronic suicidality and borderline personality disorder, and the same skill set is now used more widely for emotion dysregulation, anxiety, depression, and relationship conflict. This page describes the skills as psychoeducation. It does not diagnose anyone, and Nuri does not claim to treat a specific condition.

The four modules

How Nuri uses each module

Mindfulness

Mindfulness in DBT is not a lifestyle brand. It is a set of “what” and “how” skills: observe, describe, participate, nonjudgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively. In Nuri, mindfulness looks like prompts that slow you down before you act. The app asks what you notice in your body and what story you are adding, so the next skill has something accurate to work with.

Distress tolerance

Distress tolerance is for the hour when the problem cannot be solved yet. TIPP (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, paired muscle relaxation) is a common first-line skill when arousal is sky high. ACCEPTS is a set of distraction and self-soothing moves. Nuri is built to walk those steps in order instead of leaving you to remember an acronym from a handout.

Emotion regulation

Emotion regulation skills help you name the feeling, check whether it fits the facts, and choose an action. Opposite Action is the one people remember: if the emotion is unjustified or too big for the facts, you do the action the emotion is blocking. PLEASE skills (treating physicaL illness, eating, avoiding mood-altering substances, sleep, exercise) reduce vulnerability. Nuri uses this language so practice matches a skills group, not a vague pep talk.

Interpersonal effectiveness

DEAR MAN is a structure for asking for something or saying no: Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate. GIVE covers the relationship (Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner). FAST covers self-respect (Fair, no Apologies for existing, Stick to values, be Truthful). In Nuri, these become a draft you can actually send, not a poster on a clinic wall.

Named skills, in brief

TIPP

Change body chemistry fast when you are overwhelmed: cold temperature on the face, brief intense movement, slow exhale-focused breathing, then unclenching muscle groups. Use it to get through the spike, not to solve the problem underneath.

ACCEPTS

A menu of crisis-survival distractions: Activities, Contributing, Comparisons, Emotions (opposite), Pushing away, Thoughts, Sensations. The goal is to not pour gasoline on the fire for one stretch of time.

Opposite Action

If the emotion does not fit the facts, or its intensity is way above the facts, act opposite to the urge. Fear that is not justified gets approach. Unjustified shame gets you back into the room. This is a skill, not a dare.

DEAR MAN

A script for objectives effectiveness: say the facts, say how you feel, ask clearly, and reinforce why the other person might care, while staying on the request.

GIVE

Relationship effectiveness: keep the other person in the conversation with gentleness, interest, validation, and an easy manner, even while you still make the ask.

FAST

Self-respect effectiveness: be fair, do not over-apologize for having needs, stick to your values, and stay truthful so you can live with the conversation afterward.

These summaries are educational. They are not Linehan worksheets and they are not a complete DBT curriculum.

DBT skills and CBT tools together

DBT grew out of cognitive-behavioral work. You will often use both in the same week: a thought record when a belief is driving the spike, then TIPP if your body is still in alarm. Nuri covers both maps. Read theCBT hub for thought records and experiments, andhow practice works for the in-app flow.

If you are in a formal DBT program, treat Nuri as extra rehearsal between sessions. Bring questions to your therapist. Do not substitute an app for phone coaching, group, or individual therapy when those are part of your care.